Miren's Guide to Snowballs

Miren’s Guide to the Perfect Snowball

The first step to getting the right snowball is to be in Louisiana on a hot day in the summer. Fortunately, hot days are almost always available. Now comes the snowball stand. I recommend scouting out the area you are in. Take a quick drive around your location and slyly spot all of the snowball stands. This may seem unusual but go for the most shabby looking one. Though it doesn’t make a good impression, they are the ones that have been in business the longest and know what they are doing. If you happen to walk in and are immediately greeted by a smiling blonde, then say something like: “Whoops! I forgot the money in the car” and leave. Those people are just scammers out to make money on their appearance and not on snowballs. Go to the next shabby one and you’ll know you are at the one if these two things apply. One, when you walk in the snowball makers greet you by merely looking up. And two, the ice crusher is big, old makes a lot of noise, shakes and the ice comes out like dust. (Hint: the snow part of the snowball.) If you are crunching on ice then you know you’ve screwed up on of the steps. Now you’ve found the right snowball stand. Oh, and wear an old white or yellow t-shirt. It’s important.

Starters
If this is your first snowball I’d recommend a sweet but somewhat mild flavor. Nectar is a sweetand flowery flavor. It is sweet but definitely not too sweet. Spearmint is less sweet and is minty with a stronger flavor. Dreamsicle blends nicely with the ice and tastes sweet and misty. Coconut is a refreshing, light flavor that has a burst of the tropics. These flavors are the best for starters.

Sweet Tooth
If you have a sweet tooth the following snowball flavors will fill it for sure! Wedding cake is a big overdose of sweetness and to make it even better add condensed milk for a topping! Chocolate is sweet and chocolaty. It has a very sweet aftertaste and should also be topped with condensed milk. Coke and root beer flavor the ice with their sweet soda flavor. Condensed milk is optional of those two. Cherry is a very cherry flavor bursting with fruity sweetness. These flavors are friends of your sweet tooth.

Gone Wacko!
If you like wacko flavors, these next suggestions ought to blow you away. Peanut butter can only be described by its name. Sour apple will have your tongue twisted, its combination of sweet and sour makes you suck your cheeks. Sour grape first comes at you very sweetly and then it turns sour, leaving you confused and pinch-faced. Tiger’s blood will have you wondering what sour flavors were mixed together to make this odd and sour treat! Banana is a weird flavor that is sweet and tangy and crazier with condensed milk.

Krazy Kids
If you are a kid and are looking for a kiddy flavor here they are. Pink and blue bubble gum flavors taste just like you are chewing gum. They are sweet and have a gummy taste. Cotton candy is just as soft and sweet as the real thing! It tastes like a fair and fills you p. Strawberry is juicy and sweet. It tastes like an icy strawberry soaked in sugar. Grape is the favorite of many. The color, flavor, smell and of course the taste, makes it a winner for the taste buds! Krave these Krazy Kids flavors!

Betweeny
Nothing seems to be your flavor? You’re a betweeny! Almond is a nutty and sweet flavor that is between wacko and sweet. Cherry cola is a sweet and fizzy flavor that is between sweet and kids. Blue eagle is a strange flavor that is between starters and sweet. Raspberry is a nice fruity flavor that is between sweet and kid. Licorice is a candy flavor that fills your mouth and is between sour and kids. Polar punch is an icy sweet flavor that is between sweet and kids. Peppermint is an icy smooth mint flavor that is out on its own. These flavors are different but delicious!

How to Order
If you’ve picked your flavor look at the sizes. Snowball stands will usually have five sizes: kiddie, small, medium, large and x-large. The best size to start with is a cone-shaped small or a cup-sized medium. The cone shapes are traditional but the cups won’t spill as easily. Make sure, when you order, that you know exactly what you want, how much and what you are adding (like condensed milk or extra syrup). Tell your order fast but clearly and your snowball will come out perfect.

Eating
Everybody has a different wat of eating snowballs but here is the best way. Take a huge bite at the top and freeze your mouth. Then eat slowly toward the middle. Then use your straw and suck until about one fourth of the snowball is left. Use a spoon until there’s one spoonful left. Remember that old white or yellow t-shirt that I told you to wear? Well, take the last spoonful and rub it into your shirt for a snowball souvenir!